The Wolves of Midwinter

Sunday, April 01, 2012


(In Anne Rice's upcoming novel,Margaret the zombie, is both infinitely smarter and sexier than we are)
A Special Announcement for Anne Rice's Forthcoming Zombie Novel, which will be aptly titled: "Interview with a Zombie"

Without divulging too many details, I asked her upcoming character,Margaret, some tantalizing questions. (Doesn't she look fetching in the picture above?)
*No Fantasty freaks were harmed during this interview*
1.
Margaret, First off, I want to thank you for answering these questions as coherently as possibly. Also, I'm glad that you're on a temporary diet today. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to have this interview with you. (Of course, your inarticulate grunts will be translated as accurately as possible)
 So, why did Anne Rice decide to write a zombie novel?


Margaret:
GRRRRR.GRRRR.... GRRR..... After so many vampire books, she decided that it was time to expand her horizons. She wants to humanize zombies, make them have more brains than the atypical brainless zombie. Lets just say that she wants to make flesh-eating fiends become sexy.



  2. All her Facebook page fans were pretty ecstatic though about this new ghost story or that Atlantis novel. How will Anne Rice make something as... excuse my parlance.... repulsive as zombies become sexy once again?
 Margaret:  Grrrr.... Grrrr.. Grrr... (obviously indignant). First off, Anne Rice finds fresh potential for zombies to be just as sexy as werewolves, mummies, and zombies. She's reasonably open-minded, and when we discussed the novel together, she told me that she wanted to explore the potential that the zombies have an intelligence that supersedes our own intelligence. Essentially, we are so smart that we are incomprehensible to your primitive senses. Our grunts are more profound than the drivel that your limited minds receive them as.  We also have spiritual potential. I'm quite ecstatic about this book. As my translated text is showing you, we zombies have been unreasonably misunderstood. Its not our fault that we've evolved to the point of hungering the flesh of you devolved plebeians.

3. Margaret, the book sounds promising, but fans have reservations. They don't want zombies to be smarter than us; the whole point of the zombie movie is to provide graphic violence without any development of the enemy that needs to be fended off. Traditionally, werewolves and werewolves were the same way: they are mindless,inhuman aberrations that are killed without any remorse whatsoever. How do you think zombie fans will react to Anne Rice's new novel:Interview with the Zombie,knowing Zombies will be smarter than we can grasp?



Margaret: They'll adjust to the idea,once they read the actual novel that should be coming out soon. Anne Rice has thankfully divested zombies of their boring idiocy, and have made them compelling killers. Who wants a brainless enemy? This new novel has psychological intrigue. Its more interesting than the standard zombie novel. There is a psychological layer to the zombie war within this novel. More importantly, the zombies might not be definitively evil. We're talking about a zombie story with moral ambiguity, a true mind-numbing story that causes us to wrack our brains over "What constitutes evil?" 


4. I know Anne Rice's chauffeur is waiting to drive you back to her small ranch. But, when can we expect Anne Rice to announce more news of this novel? I'm so stoked about reading this, and I'm sure most of my readers are.
Anne Rice plans to release this on the brink of the Zombie Apocalypse: December 21,2012. I cannot divulge any more details, but we'll be taking over the world, and making all of you into our dinners as a special complimentary treat for all the loyal Anne Rice fans.

Unfortunately, Fantastyfreak was unable to finish this interview after Margaret feasted on his living flesh&bookish mind. She now has more ideas for her... I mean, Anne Rice's upcoming novel: Interview with a Zombie.  

HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY!!!! (I DID NOT REALLY DIE... ALSO, THERE'S NO UPCOMING PLANS FOR AN ANNE RICE ZOMBIE NOVEL)








No comments: