The Wolves of Midwinter

Monday, March 26, 2012

                                    Mysterious Shadow
                                                           
                       Warmth filled my timorous body
                                        Something deeply touched me
                                     It felt inexplicably wonderful
                                              If only I knew what triggered this..
                                              This sudden relapse from sorrow
                                              Sadness transmuting into pleasure


                                    Suddenly, the pleasure waned
                                      The imaginary sense of bliss
                                          Became corroded by an unwanted malaise
                                            I felt like retching with disgust...
                                       What had happened to me??
                                                                             
                                                I couldn't remember anymore...
                                                     Everything was too dark
                                                    Trying to confront it
                                                            Sent searing pain
                                                    All throughout me
                                                                                             
                                                Eventually, this dark memory
                                                   Became unfathomable,unrecognizable
                                                           Once it devoured me
                                                       Maybe I was living within its shadow
                                                     Completely unaware of how to
                                                    Untangle myself from its snare
                                               Perhaps, its always been there..
                                                                                             
                                                                                                 
                                                                                   
Death’s Passion

Innumerable bodies
Flayed, Desiccated, and Violated
Floating gracefully
Down the River
Whispered in the depths
Of the Cold, fast-paced
Waters of this Somber River

The waves are death’s snare
Taking those in misery captive
Without forewarning, the arms of the river
Grabbed ahold of their corpse-like body and
Dragged their sorrow
Along the pebbled sand
Would they ever awaken from their mournful slumber?

As I stared into the mired
Reflection held within this pool of tears
I felt enthralled with the corpses
They were unmoving, uncaring
Unlike me, they’ve found what
I’ve been scouring the dry world for
Everlasting peace

Where was the one that anchored me to this world?
Could anyone keep me adrift?
Sometimes, I wanted to just drift, but not sink into
The Unknowable fathoms below
Would I be splayed out like the Lady of Shallot?
Thoughtlessly floating towards
The ocean of unfathomable death

Once there, would I finally succumb to the
Pressure of gravity
Seeking my demise
Who would hold me in this fateful hour,
Lift my weighty corpse
And Baptize me
In their name

Grabbing hold of my vial of hemlock,
I drank the satisfying elixir of death
Then, I dramatically uprooted
Myself from the shores of the Earth
While taking the long dive into Hades,
My delusional mind envisaged
An unrealistic lover

Disoriented, their imaginary touch
Became palpable
Allaying the dread of my end
My heart thundered with passion
Exalting in this last moment of life
Offered by the Gods

I felt great anticipation for my climax
Eventually, my life will be obliterated
Once all these augmented feelings
Taper away
With my last satisfied gasp
Will I even remember all of this?


Pleasure inundated my mind
As blackness overfilled my periphery
I sighed one last time
The world ended seriously
With this one curious question
Was this all real…..?

Monday, March 12, 2012

        The Dark Night of the Soul

                      A troubling thought
                                          What has been wrought?
                                             By the converging waves
                                          Of icy waters entering caves
                                         Which are my solitary abode

                                          Within the cave, one cry
                                           Fills the darkened sky
                                              Death feints
                                                Whilst I paint
                                             Upon the blackened walls of my design

                                     The tempest from outside
                                        Forces me to hide
                                       Deeper within this cavern
                                      Sealing away my concern
                                         Who dares disturb this sacred peace?

                                         Red is the pigment of paint
                                           Used to depict the saints                                                                          
                                             Figments of my imagination
                                                A touch of consolation
                                        Arraying themselves against my dark soul

                                    The reckless violence floods my mind
                                      I fear madness of this kind
                                      A darkened shape drifts
                                     Through the waves that just swift
                                    Past my once dry home

                          Falling deep within the water
                          Was like losing a father
                           The sea suddenly seeps
                             Over me, can I sleep?
                              Is the shadow still here?

                          That shadowy figure
                          Why does it just get bigger?
                           It becomes elongated
                            As though I were fated
                            To be destroyed once more
                         
                             Pushing me further under the water
                              Committing spiritual murder
                              Are the saints still watching?
                              Do they not see me dying?
                                  Or crying?

                                My lips are pressed against theirs
                                 Where are my heirs?
                                 I am being tortured into love
                                 Without any rescue from above
                                 A desperate prayer escapes my heathen lips

                              Suddenly the figure dissipates
                               Was this part of fate?
                                To become tainted
                                Can this pain be painted
                             Into something recoverable?

                            An albatross hangs from my neck
                            Weighing me down like heck
                             The water washes out
                             Leaving me with deep doubt
                             Where can I go from here?

                            The cave swallows me up
                          Darkness fills this bottomless cup
                              This disillusioning cave
                              I have a need to bathe
                              My sins feel impermeable
                     
                      A single thread of thought       
                             Seems to become caught
                       Within my mind
                        What can I find?
                              Did I even sin?



                               How can I be slain
                            And feeling nothing but burning pain 
                                   Incessant sorrow
                        Where the illusion is there's no tomorrow
                           Are there "people" outside?

                              In some former life, I loved God
                               Now, I just nod
                                 Because I know he's gone
                                 He's never been here for very long
                                  What is this paradox you call a God?

                                  I'm still here, breathing
                                    Painfully heaving
                                    For one calm breath
                                      Within the living death
                                     Of the cave

                                     Is Hades here?
                                     Does he dwell near?
                                     No, he's as lifeless as me
                                     He forgot the notion of "how to be"
                                     I am Hades, separated from the living

                                      There was music, how elusive
                                            How is music conducive
                                         To living passively 
                                         In a cave that massively
                                    Lacks the timbre of Orpheus' soulful music



                                Life was swept away long ago
                                  By a dastardly foe
                                 I was snared and tortured
                                  My heart, it was skewered
                                   No one believed my pain



                                I caved myself in
                                  Lying in sin
                                Is it even mine?
                               I don't feel fine
                          The stench of sin is so overpowering

                                Can my heart be salvaged
                               From this body, so ravaged
                                Will the shadow stop haunting me?
                                    Is this how it is supposed to be?
                              Trapped within a cave of my own making

                                     With my red paint
                                      I paint one more saint
                                       Across the lonely walls
                                        Where every saint normally falls
                                          Within the cave's oppressive darkness

                                       Can I ever live again?
                                 Or do I just stay within this den
                                      Till I completely blend
                                   Into the shadows filling every bend
                                  Of this God-forsaken cave
                                          

      
                                         
Witches Amongst Us



I knew a witch
With chocolate hair
Hair emblazoned with sin
She was like a great clump of dirt
Who had the face of  a flower
That mesmerized her band of ardent followers
Devoted to her for eternity
I was once bewitched by her
Until I tasted her poison


Within the virtual world
She nestled herself
Creating a false persona
That obnoxiously aired grievances
About past enemies
Or the jarring sound
Of Chorused sneezes from others
Who sat nearby her holy throne
Surrounded by a sentry of large cats
One of whom was not a cat,
But a shadowy ninja
Who was her greatest devotee

She dreamt that she was invulnerable
Seemingly impenetrable
In a sense, she was a goddess
As massive, and dense as a chunk of marble
This was the view of her rank
Amongst those who have nothing
But unswerving adulation
For this spineless witch
Wearing the robes
Of one of the Greek Muses


Except, she hardly enlightened anyone
She spited people
Oh, she absolutely did

To the downtrodden, she opened her loving arms
Consumed their deepest pains,and
Regurgitated them to her flock of devotees                                        
  Every story of others was misconstrued
To cement her high rank
In the eyes of others




My eyes discern the truth
After, I tasted her poison,and
                               Sharply recognized the depth of her cruelty
                                While, her disciples believe her to be infallible, and
                               Her enemies to be traitorous bastards
                               I can still remember the sting of her betrayal
                                                             

                            Since that woeful day,
              It has been hard for me, and others to find healing
                         Because her type of cruelty excels in
                           The type of manipulative subtlety
               That makes you doubt the reality of her witchiness
                         Then, you wonder if other witches lurk
                             Waiting to utilize your burdens
                           As gold for their own personal profit