Till Death, Do Us Part!

One day, I unburied the corpse

Of my deceased lover who

Never reciprocated my feelings  

He locked lips with another woman

When he still dwelled in that deplorable death sack

Now, he was nonexistent so his body was up for grabs

Thankfully, he wouldn’t find my rambling disquieting

He had to listen for eternity

While, I jabbered incessantly with

That damnable lisp that he always detested

For once, I felt settled with him, not harried

Normally, I felt unfit around him

Usually, there was a pregnant pause

In the midst of our dialogue

And a husky, exasperated sigh

That signaled his disgust with me

Then he proclaimed that “I was infuriating and inane”

After issuing those venomous words, he walked away and

Left me to Rot

If he was dead, like now,

He would be quaint though dank

At least, he would not interrupt my nervous

Stream of thoughts with his inconsiderate words

Now he could restfully sit motionless

On my grandmother’s antique rocker

And grant me his seductive death stare

As I liberally talked

Or expounded about extenuating financial circumstances

Occasionally, I was bemused by his lifelessness

So I crept over and kissed him lightly

On his rotting lips

They were chapped and cold

But, the kiss still satisfied but

His vile words would not intervene

On this deathly romantic occasion

Sometimes, I would read excerpts from “Jane Eyre,”

Then I would comment that Jane could have

Rectified Mr. Rochester’s brooding

By waiting till he jumped from the highest floor

Of Thornfield manor like that loony wife

Whom he frustratingly pined after

Maybe, the women of Jane Austen novels

Could have prolonged the stiff countenance

Of their love interest’s faces

Surely, the reader could have availed themselves of the agony

Of reading rosy passages about animated Women

Adoring men that

Seemed partly dead anyways

Tess of the D’Urbervilles should have

Sought revenge on those abhorrent men

Who were indifferent to her abuse?

Much like Aphrodite who didn’t care

About Medusa’s plight and punished her

Only because some sea gods

Cannot keep their tridents under restraint

No, dead men were the greatest

You didn’t have to probe their minds

For any semblance of feelings they had for you

They weren’t boisterous, drunken, and restive.

Instead, they were infinitely silent

Which I am eternally grateful for

On our anniversary, I took my desiccated beloved

To the gravestone that symbolized the end of

His brooding and woeful masculine selfishness

Now, we could memorialize our deadly wedding

Beside the monument of his

Former disinterest in me

Limbs might crack but

He’ll still be delightfully intact

And boy, will I be loquacious?

For the rest of his nonexistence,

He’ll have to listen to me talk

Until I face my own demise

“Till death, do us part!”