Ghostly Passion

Your thoughts, ideals, and faults

Conspire against my melancholy 

Your imagined soul; your incorporeal treasures

Mystifies me and grants me a distinct existence

Before I had only been a diaphanous form

Unseen and unrecognized by others and even myself

When you whisper my name to invoke my spirit,

My wits and consciousness are fused together

So that I’ll know you and myself

Yet, a great trepidation causes perdition to reclaim me

My devil entraps me in a tomb of self doubt

Where I forego thinking about you or myself

Reality becomes a pristine delusion which

Floats gently on this stream of forgotten conscience

In this self-conceived inferno,

Judas’s treacherous self resides within my core

While innumerable false selves march through my ruins

With both dignity and vainglory

Some projection of you

Pervades the indefinable Purgatory beyond this hell

Standing apprehensively upon the threshold between hell and purgatory,

I try to muster some determination

To verbalize the ineffability of my love for you

Inevitably, I keep falling from one ring to another

Till eventually I have succumbed to Judas’ deceit

In my mind, I struggle in vain to depict our paradise

Quickly my blistering reality of

Being spurned continuously by Judas’ venomous words returns

I struggle futilely to liberate myself from

My self-imposed exile from you

But, my inability to define my feelings about you

Keeps me imprisoned within this masochistic prison of mine

Inexplicably, I can tolerate the pain of being without you

Rather than be misunderstood

How can you expect me to love you?

Especially, when you have neglected to notice my torture

Can’t you hear my plaintive screams that can

Only be heard deep within my forgotten spirit?

Do you not love the disconsolate person I am without you?

Sometimes, I wonder if you are hiding beyond my shadow realm

 I fervently hope that you understand my persistent silence

Wrought by devastating fear of your lack of reciprocation

Hopefully, I can cleave to your spirit and

Ascend to the heavenly plane by

Entrusting you to uplift and appreciate my ghostly self