A Prayer Under A Strange Sun
by
Terri Main


Father,
Here I am
Kneeling on orange soil
Under a green sky
Beneath a tree of living stone

But it’s still me, Lord.
I’m still that little girl
Staring at foil stars
Pasted on my ceiling
Late at night when everyone else slept

I sought meaning in those stars
But they were only foil
Then I rode fire in the sky
Folded time and space
And walked on orange soil
Under a green sky
And beheld a tree of living stone

The whisper of the air cycling unit
Sings in my ears
The filters on my face plate darken
The white sun rises
Washing away the colors of night
The time of returning is near.

I scan the horizon
One more time
The orange and green have faded, Lord
And I cannot see the tree of living stone
Against the glare.

I rode fire in the heavens
Folded time and space
Who would have believed
That I would first see your Glory
Kneeling in Orange soil
Under a green sky
Beneath a tree of living stone

Haven't posted much yet! Been very busy this week, yeah yeah, excuses excuses. But I found Wayfarer's Journal and lost track of time, the stories on there were actually very interesting. Ever since reading and loving Arena by:Karen Hancock, oh.. and Firebird Trilogy by Kathy Tyers, I have desired some more Christian Scifi. Great idea to have this site put up, what I found on it I found great. Especially this poem, yes I "stole" from this site. But I am giving credit to it! Anyways what I loved about is that it fit with the whole idea of Madeleine L'Engle's philosophy. That one sees the majesty of God when one looks upon the stars. Great example of this was shown in Madeleine L'Engle's books in A Wrinkle in Time, when Meg sits with her dog on the rock to watch the stars, seeing the majesty and wonder of God's expansive universe. It truly is stunning. I wish there was not so much light pollution , so I could see more of the stars
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The Awesome Scifi site

I did not know the world of Christians could be so unloving and clique acting. I have been in war with myself for way too many years and I just feel so confused and really utterly frustrated. Whenever I go to church, they begin talking what books do you read, oh no! Harry Potter you must be some satanist. What? you believe in women minsters, you feminist go to hell!
My views are very different from many, I believe in gun control, protecting the enviornment, and women's rights and that women can be pastors. They are people in Christ too. Yet I am shot down and literally verbally beaten for even expressing such views.
Maybe I should just close my mouth and conform and just change my views to win favor of the people. But yet it feels so selfish, I'm not doing for God, but to win the favor of the peers. I think it is sick how some Christians force their views down your throat and then just literally hog you, treating you less than a human being.
I wish I was able to just smile sometimes, and have fun like all the other people around me, I feel though I am in a glass sphere and to join in the fun I must give up my soul and what makes me humans, or put on a disguise and just pretend to be happy.
There are times when I rather lock myself in my room and just never come out. So I would not be so confused and at conflict with myself and the world. Where I could be accepted for who I am. I try so hard for perfection yet fail. I feel like a ghost walking about the halls of church. I sit down, no one notices me. What is wrong with me? Is there something so horrible about me that people can sense that makes them run in fear.
I do not even know why I am writing this post. I must sound like the most whiniest person in the world. Yes maybe I should just be quiet and continue on pretending to be happy. When I am a sad wreck inside. That is waiting to burst.
My tears imbue my view, yet I wipe them away. No man should cry, I must be strong! Feeling sad is a sin, everything is a sin! Who I am is a sin! God, I cry out for help, yet you continue to remain silent. As I slowly disslove into the black.

X Japan is back after a decade of anything non existent music wise, they have now returned. Just nine years after death of guitarist Hide, one of the best guitarists ever. What makes X Japan, from the amazing voice of Toshi, the songwriting and drum playing, the bass playing of Heath and piano playing of master Yoshiki. Or of course the awesome guitar playing of Hide and Pata. It is the combination of all these geniuses that make this band one of the most renowned bands in both Japan and the world. Their newest single with unreleased guitar tracks from hide, called IV was on the credits of Saw 4, one of the only reasons I even saw that movie in the first place, since actual track has no release date. They are having a Reunion tour in Japan. Oh man! Why not America, I would die to see them live! Seriously they are an amazing band!!!!!

CSFF Blog Tour Day 2, my post one day late

I finally sit myself upon my green Ikea Swivel chair to bring you my review of Scarlet by Stephen Lawhead, a master at fantasy. I recently discovered him, and let me say, I truly did not believe he would be any good. Mostly because, yes, let me admit. I have a problem sometimes with the fantasy genre seeming to take upon the same legends and renovating them. Its something that to me is a bit overdone. But was I being fair. I am judging a book by its cover, a book with a rather snazy cover. How dare I insult a book in that manner. I opened the book and began reading. I was rather indifferent at the moment of beginning the book. So far, standard devices. It may sound like I hated but sometimes when I open a book, I immediately am harsh with it, and think the worst of it. Must have to do with my rather pessimistic self. As I continued to read, I stopped looking at the clock,, stopped using the bathroom, getting up to get a snack or watch some anime online. I was transported to the Welsh woods. I was hooked! Stephen Lawhead's writing entranced me, inspired me. When I finished the book, I dropped it, and immediately felt sadness, that such a great book had to end so quickly. Lawhead's writing is just as many of my online friends have been describing it as, awe inspiring, not at all stale or cliche, like I thought previously before I dove in and began the book. Anyone with even the slightest interest in the Fantasy genre, Stephen Lawhead is a master at his art, and one day just as Mr. Hopper met him, I hope to meet him and tell him the great amount of inspiration I gathered for my writing within my books! He made me for the first time in three months gather just a bit of confidence to write a fair amount of pages of my own story. Thank you Mr. Lawhead, now I must go read some of the Song of Abrion, I have been hearing a lot of great stuff about that books

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James Somers
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Steve Trower
Speculative Faith
Robert Treskillard
Jason Waguespac
Daniel I. Weaver
Laura Williams
Timothy Wise
Mr. Lawhead's awesome site
Like what you see, Click here to purchase Scarlet

I have had time to think about it and I have recently just read a very great post by John Granger, who did not fall for the media's trap. The media heard the word gay and ran with it and totally blew it up. I do not believe in totally hating upon the Harry Potter books. I have read them completely, and really do continue to love their message of love. I do not feel that the Dumbledore gay revelation was her means of saying she wanted children to accept homosexuality. Maybe it was her means of showing he struggled with it. That is what John Granger wrote up on hogwartsproffesser.com, and I literally said this is a great post by a Christian I highly respect. Many Christians seemed to immediately react and type up complete rants in order to look good in the eyes of their peers. I am writing this post, because this is what I honestly feel. I feel Dumbledore was a loving person who understand how it feels to be estranged from the world. Fine you may not admit homosexuality is not a real issue, but I think it is, and it is not a fabrication to try and gain attention. There is a very interesting verse in the bible, when Jesus talks of divorce, and saids that some who are born eunuchs, do not need to be married. This fully supports being asexual when you are homosexual and that the struggle is not a sin but the ACT, chaste in other words. I believe Dumbledore found that his love was unmeaningful and decided thus to remain chaste. His struggle helps him to understand others, magical creatures, elves, those estranged by common society. Sort of like how some churches act, we as Christians close our doors and act hostile towards those we fear. Because fear makes us afraid and makes us hate. Hate is a sin, and for me it something I see lurking about the world in huge amounts. Christians laughing at other miseries, hypocrisy, it is running rampant. We as Christians sometimes act like pure bloods, act like the priests who walk right past the man who had just gotten beaten, and the only one to notice him is the Samaritan. We fear differences, we want all Christians to be in uniformity, we fear the Christians with the piercings or engaging in many various sorts of media. Those who were at birth born lame or with mental deficiencies. We shut our doors on rape victims. Why do we pay millions in supporting a company like Exodus to make people who many Christians hate upon even more confused. I challenge all who read this blog to break down walls and act as Dumbledore and to be loving towards those who many Christians have left behind, instead retreating to act among the pures as pure bloods, calling those who are gay, mudbloods.

Excuses, Excuses! I did not read this month's books again. While I could easily attribute that to the fact that I have to do many college essays recently, been reading a great amount of books,and doing a ton of work. I definitely have a life this year. I totally forgot about CSFF Blog Tour. I have been in addition to stress due to colleges and other things, really depressed. I do not know why, but I have this feeling where I feel like doing nothing recently. All I see in the world is darkness, some christians being hateful, and this feeling of air of boastfulness around those Christians who feel like one should not be sad or lost in the precense of God. Except that is how I feel, lost, and depressed about how much hate there is in this world. One of my few close friends who ,even while being gay, I still befriend. Being criticized and other harsh words in my family, from Christians about how he has two disabilities. He is in a wheelchair. I really get angered when people bully him. I feel this disconnection among Christians at the moment. While many at the church are laughing talking about sports and other socail events. There are people all over, hurting and people deeming themselves Christians, either completely ignoring them or outright being judgemental of them. It really makes me sad, and I must say, I never have felt so disconnected. For some reason there seem to be few Christians seeing this. The fact that some Christians are just going around judging and not helping and aiding. Some Christians who are being too ranty instead of being humble like Jesus. I see rape victims, and people with disabilities being ignored by Christian teenagers around me, as they only talk to their clique friends. In my Christian Club, it's devistating. No one talks to one another, there is just this huge wall, where people of different cliques only talk to their cliques. I add this to the list of youth groups I have walked out on because, no one said Hello to me. The only thing I was asked was by a boy who asked if I liked any sports. I said no, and he walked away and he and his other friends joked how I am not "masculine" and that I am antisocial and shy (which I am, I hardly talk). I wish my Christian club interacted with one another, and did not just sit within cliques. Due to the fact most Christians ignore me, I have many friends who are not christians. Some of them are much nicer. Anyways, sorry if this post has turned to a rant. I'm supposed to be talking about The Bark of the Bog Owl by:Jonathan Rogers, which I only found out the tour was for yesterday. I ran out to Borders and Barnes and Knobles, and neither of them had the book. So sorry, I have to sit them one out. This book looks great and hopefully I find time to read it, I need this type of stuff especially in the middle of my depression, this kind of stuff helps me to provide an escape and also gives me some spiritual insight. Only if I knew the exact days the tour was and I did not have so much to do in my life, maybe then I would havebought and finished the novel. I apologize for my rant, and again for not buying and reading the book. I'm almost done Scarlet by: Stephen Lawhead, an excellent read so far (I'm biased, I'm a Lawhead dork)
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Eve Nielsen
John W. Otte
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Rachelle
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Hanna Sandvig
Chawna Schroeder
James Somers
Steve Trower
Speculative Faith
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Daniel I. Weaver
Laura Williams
Timothy Wise
Main Page for the book
Where to buy the book?

Today, I am going to take a short break from the CSFF Blog Tour. To remember an author who just died. His name is Robert Jordan and he wrote the Wheel of Time. Sadly he died before finishing the book. I literally was in tears, I do not know why, I never knew him personally, but the wonderful world he created and the beautiful characters he wove allowed me to see into him and just like Tolkien, Lewis and Martin he has crafted a masterpiece. To all who know him not, he was an amazing writer, and my deepest wishes go out to his family and may we all remember him for the masterpiece he had crafted. It is such a travesty to lose such a great writer.

I must apologize to all the readers who read my blog, specificially to all the members of the CSFF Blog Tour, I did not read this month's book. You see, for the past three books, it was summer vacation, so I had all time in the world to read and watch anime. But no time has dissapeared thanks to those thieves who stole the sand from my hourglass, Father Time you are supposed to be watching my hourglass, not be lazing on the job. Man you annoy me some times. Mind my wierdness, sometimes after having a lot of coffee, well you know........ same thing that happens to Roheryn. Anyways, I really wanted to read the book, but since it was in a series, and my time was short thanks to stupid school (I like the clubs, but not the course and most of the kids there, if I was to go there, well you know, I could spend all day ranting about ninety percent of the school population) I am really into the whole extraterrestrial thing, so I definitely will read it, that is after I read the first two books. Anyways to end this post, I will give you a short summarry, not written by me, written by the old scrives over at Amazon (lol! The publisher wrote it, heh!) To end my post, I would like to give a shout out to Wayne Batson, "Isle of Swords rocksss!" and to Sharon Hinck,"My mom really enjoyed the Beacky Miller books, and I can not wait to get my Clavo and Restorer's Son in the mail" Oh and well... when I get the time I need to make sure to post a review of Isle of Swords on Amazon.

Summarry (Taken from Amazon)
Book Description
Six years after completing a manned mission to the Red Planet, Admiral John Wells is set to make another journey to Mars. But this time his crew is not alone, as John's team encounters a secret colony comprised of individuals pursuing John Raines' strange religion, the "Father Race."
While John begins to uncover a web of lies on Mars, his wife and daughter are struggling for survival on earth. Now John must survive his dangerous mission and find a way back home, even as a shocking plan begins to unfold millions of miles away on earth.

Austin Boyd is back with his third thrilling novel in the Mars Hill Classified series, full of high-tech intrigue, memorable characters, and adventure that transports readers to another world.

From the Back Cover
With nothing left for him on Earth, Rear Admiral John Wells didn't hesitate to lead a third NASA team to Mars, but he never dreamed that one day they'd look out their laboratory module into the lights of a slow-moving vehicle not their own. In the third installment of the Mars Hill Classified series, life on Mars becomes increasingly more unpredictable as the past collides with the future and nothing, not even the dead, is as it seems.

Meanwhile, back on Earth, the fate of hundreds, including John Wells' family--presumed dead these last six years--rests precariously in the hands of Malcolm Raines, self-proclaimed Guardian of the Mother Seed and Principal Cleric of Saint Michael's Remnant, and his insidious plans for the Father Race.

Wells will find himself in a race against time and all odds to expose the truth: about Mars, about Malcolm Raines, and, if he's very brave, about himself.
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Rachelle
Cheryl Russel
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Mirtika Schultz
James Somers
Steve Trower
Speculative Faith
Laura Williams
Timothy Wise
Austin Boyd's website
Buy the book here