Inspired by both Emilie Autumn's "Fight Like a Girl," and her commentary on the brutish sexism of Pre-Raphealite paintings. As a form of pure hypocrisy I happen to have the painting of the "Lady of Shalott," serving as my undignified computer wallpaper. Given the below criticism, should I hide my head in shame?
Die Like a Girl
Come one, Come all
To the greatest theatrical show-
Invented by the demented minds of a true Opheliac
Tinkered by misery
Powered by Sadism and self-destruction
Appropriating the themes of Woebegone Mistresses
Plummeting to the depths
Or should I say-their deaths?
In appropriately vibrant-colored Pre-Raphealite paintings
Filled with Verdant Leaves and variegated flowers
Suffused with the brimming life
Of traditional pastoral poems
As each of these victorian girls pant
Their dying breaths
-
ACCEPT NO IMITATIONS-
Die the royal, honorable way
Of a Wayward Victiorian Girl
We have inimitable imitations of the Lady of Shalott
Sinking herself in a boat with her artistic work
Wrapped about her wan body-her majestic cloak
Meticulously worked by her pallid, lifeless hands
She envisioned knights, courtiers,
Kings, queens, cherubic-faced children
Graciously attending her funeral proceedings
This was her moribund stunt-
DEATH OF ANONYMITY-
The Demise of an unnamed female artist
Unparalleled by other artistic equals
It is the shrewd mind of the gentry folk that conceived her pathetic
Death as beautiful and aesthetically-pleasing
Her befallen fate graces the walls of pretentious English professors offices
Within and Without the world of academia
To die like her is to truly hate your female persona
And prize the male appreciation of your anonymous work
Above all else
Mask your art with the persona of a dainty "George Elliot"
Or an unassuming Curtier Bell
Never boast your real artistic, audacious alias of
Such strong, sturdy women like Mary Shelley
Who would read the "Lady of Shalott" in a playful, nondefeating tone-
One used by a fine woman by the name of Anne Shirley
Do you feel spurned by men?
Come watch and gaze upon Ophelia
In this scene, she recites poetry
Using a semidetached tone to woo Hamlet one last time
WEAKNESS-A faint woman on the brink of slipping
An empty vessel that falls into strong currents of water
If unable to appease the interests of other men
Victorian men sigh and swoon
Conjuring up erotic portraits of such a fine damsel
Tragically falling to her death
The First Suicidal Girl
Spurned, Misunderstood repeatedly by
The historical romanticism surrounding
A grisly, visceral scene of
Self-destruction
Yet it's so artful, so genuinely Shakespearean
Let us appraise a woman's misery with
Unconcerned eyes of artistic awe
I say- Never shall any of these damsels
View any tangible life beyond their
Tragic Objective of death
Look upon the Lady Macbeth, Ophelia, Juliet, and the Lady of Shalott
With pure,unadulterated shame
If all we see is poetry, we have never learned
About what it really means to
"fight like a girl"
Which we have misconstrued to be
"Die Like a Girl"
The asylum's legendary spectacle
Of doom and gloom ad infinitum